2010年的结尾
赶上了一班历练的火车
旅途经过死阴 幽谷
眼泪模糊了前方的路
连下一步的勇气都没办法继续
旅途的终点
没有白跑呐
遇见了美丽的果子
信实啊~
神的应许没有落空过
义人的脚步必稳如锡安山
白天的暗箭不得伤他
晚间的瘟疫不得害他
他必快跑如母鹿
他必不失脚
因为耶和华的使者必在他的左右守护他
感恩~
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Expectation
Expectation will somehow weary a person, esp when you are expecting someone to love you equally back like how you do. There is no perfect man, and no one will opt to love us back like what we wish. Well, if it does, that will be a credit or a grace gift. However, if it doesnt, then the dissapointment will literally drag us into the mud of depression.
Things will change, environment change, and favor of someone on us will sumhow change as well. We could not do anything on it, in fact is not in our control. However, we can find a place that rest our trust. Man might fail us, but one thing never change - our God never fail.
Embrace the wonderful promise which He has already put in you, even you were still in the womb of your mum! Seeing the big picture of your life, God has a perfect plan that lead you through and He wants you to enjoy the process.
Dear friend out there, the hope of all heart, is in God. Cause, His love never fail. Never expect Man to fill the loneliness in you, cause even him/her could not fill his own heart by his own might. Turn it to the One, that create you, that know you, that knows what is the best for you.
Hugs to all~ amen.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
“最后留下来的，会是最爱你的那一个。。”
绕了地球半个圈 发现 你已经不在我们常常相约的那个树
转个圈换个角度 以为 转角可以遇见爱不过原来你已不在
蝴蝶要坠落几次才知道飞行
花儿要枯萎几次才可以等到另一个spring
祢知道
哪个 spring是最美的 让花儿灿烂开放
哪个天空是最海阔天空 让蝴蝶自由翱翔
葡萄园之恋 是祢为我谱上美丽的应许
我相信
在彩虹的另一端
“最后留下来的，会是最爱你的那一个。。”
转个圈换个角度 以为 转角可以遇见爱不过原来你已不在
蝴蝶要坠落几次才知道飞行
花儿要枯萎几次才可以等到另一个spring
祢知道
哪个 spring是最美的 让花儿灿烂开放
哪个天空是最海阔天空 让蝴蝶自由翱翔
葡萄园之恋 是祢为我谱上美丽的应许
我相信
在彩虹的另一端
“最后留下来的，会是最爱你的那一个。。”
Friday, November 12, 2010
Melbourne day 9
Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will gives you the desires of your heart - bible psalms 37:4
Commit your way to the lord, trust in him and He will make your way.. - bible psalms 37:5
Yesterday is a sorrow, however today is a new grace. It could be a battlefield of mind that hinder me to do sth for god. Well, been praying for this girlfriend of mine even bfr I arrive in Mel. Knowing her life now has comes to an agony condition, I do hope she will get to knows Jesus. Yeap.. So whoever is reading my blog at this divine moment, pls make a prayer for me to speak out the god of words.
This trip of Mel had taught me a lesson of life: facing your own self 面对自己。Many times we are too tided up with bunch of friends, list of activities, routines, too busy to get compliments from others.. And sort of. Indeed, when everything has gone, what stuff will be in your mind? How peaceful our mind can be?
Indeed indeed, we all need a peaceful of mind.
Going back msia soon. Looking forward to have some changes in my life. Umm.. What kind of changes? Well, out of all the least, I wish to inject god words and promises into my mind.
It's a beautiful day, darling. I'm glad and rejoice.
Commit your way to the lord, trust in him and He will make your way.. - bible psalms 37:5
Yesterday is a sorrow, however today is a new grace. It could be a battlefield of mind that hinder me to do sth for god. Well, been praying for this girlfriend of mine even bfr I arrive in Mel. Knowing her life now has comes to an agony condition, I do hope she will get to knows Jesus. Yeap.. So whoever is reading my blog at this divine moment, pls make a prayer for me to speak out the god of words.
This trip of Mel had taught me a lesson of life: facing your own self 面对自己。Many times we are too tided up with bunch of friends, list of activities, routines, too busy to get compliments from others.. And sort of. Indeed, when everything has gone, what stuff will be in your mind? How peaceful our mind can be?
Indeed indeed, we all need a peaceful of mind.
Going back msia soon. Looking forward to have some changes in my life. Umm.. What kind of changes? Well, out of all the least, I wish to inject god words and promises into my mind.
It's a beautiful day, darling. I'm glad and rejoice.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Melbourne day 8
Will keep this post short as am typing this from my iPhone.
Today wandering in the city centre on my own. Out of no aware, I felt a weird feeling starts to emerge slowly in me. Feel so burden in no word can comprehend, and feel so empty that i hardly can feel my own soul! The moment when I bought a bag of Levis stuff, stepped out from the shop.. My tears nearly drop and I can feel the pain deep down in my heart. That moment, prayer can't seems to lift me up from the shit..
Start asking myself what's my destiny in life, and where shall I head to in my life. Been too tide up of the life in KL that at times you will not have time to think about this. But.. Ye.. When settle down and you try to confront yourself of this issue which has been ignored by you for quite sometime, and ye... You will feel so reckless.
I believe, a vacation is good for recharge. However, too long vacation will sumhow lead u into an emptiness and worth-less. You can't feel the circle of friends which you normally live on with, you can't feel the satisfaction of getting done your job and see the pleasure of your team, you can't feel you are needed by a community... And everything seems so not right to your heart.
God, pull me out from this mud of weary. Is a vacation thou, and I know this is the battle of mind. Let's proclaim, no one can steal the joy I have in You.
I shall.. I shall... I must... Embrace a delight day coming tomorrow.
Today wandering in the city centre on my own. Out of no aware, I felt a weird feeling starts to emerge slowly in me. Feel so burden in no word can comprehend, and feel so empty that i hardly can feel my own soul! The moment when I bought a bag of Levis stuff, stepped out from the shop.. My tears nearly drop and I can feel the pain deep down in my heart. That moment, prayer can't seems to lift me up from the shit..
Start asking myself what's my destiny in life, and where shall I head to in my life. Been too tide up of the life in KL that at times you will not have time to think about this. But.. Ye.. When settle down and you try to confront yourself of this issue which has been ignored by you for quite sometime, and ye... You will feel so reckless.
I believe, a vacation is good for recharge. However, too long vacation will sumhow lead u into an emptiness and worth-less. You can't feel the circle of friends which you normally live on with, you can't feel the satisfaction of getting done your job and see the pleasure of your team, you can't feel you are needed by a community... And everything seems so not right to your heart.
God, pull me out from this mud of weary. Is a vacation thou, and I know this is the battle of mind. Let's proclaim, no one can steal the joy I have in You.
I shall.. I shall... I must... Embrace a delight day coming tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Eat, Pray & Love in Melbourne - Day 6
Sat together with the lunch break crowd at National Library park. Cultural here is so much unique. In an hour, you enjoy the food, the fresh air outside, the greens, and the interaction with friend. In Malaysia, an hour lunch break you try to crawl through the lunch crowd in food court, finish up your food with your mind stuffed up by a list of to-do item.
This trip of Melbourne teach me a lesson of life: Eat, Pray & Love. At times, the schedulle of daily routine will sumhow blind us from seeing the true value of what we are living on now. Indeed, to be STILL is really a tough lesson to learn of, but once you develope the greatness of this value in your life, you will see the blessing that start to flow into your life.
Am still trying hard to really enjoy my moment, while no more (x1000) worry of the paper work that left on my work table, the new bosses that just come onboard, the event details which need follow ups, wondering how is him now, wondering where shall we head to after I have back to Msia... bla bla bla.
Yeah, the lesson of BE STILL is really stretching me to limit.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Eat, Pray & Love in Melbourne - Day 5
Today, Scrolling through the busiet street in Melbourne city, from Lincoln st, Russel st, Flinders st to Collin st.
Sitting alone at the street cafe, overseeing the crowd crossing through the street. Melbourne is no longer a country by his own people. There are Malaysian, Thai, China, Vietnames, Lebanese.. and etc. Even for food wise, you will find Sushi, Kimchi, Kebab, Wanton, Baguete, Penang Char Kway Teow... and etc.
There are so many foreign people staying in Melbourne with PR visa.
Wondering...
How long have they left their coutry? How far they are away from their country? Which country is born in their heart? Will they pray for their own country, or Melbourne? They here, is for a destiny of life, or to just earn a better living?
My heart feel gratitude that I am still belong to a country, that I've born, I've staying, and I'm belonging. In the land of Malaysia, I shall stand on my feet to love its earth, and spare my knees to pray for a revival that gonna land on this place.
After all, am glad that I am still holding a Malaysian IC.
Sitting alone at the street cafe, overseeing the crowd crossing through the street. Melbourne is no longer a country by his own people. There are Malaysian, Thai, China, Vietnames, Lebanese.. and etc. Even for food wise, you will find Sushi, Kimchi, Kebab, Wanton, Baguete, Penang Char Kway Teow... and etc.
There are so many foreign people staying in Melbourne with PR visa.
Wondering...
How long have they left their coutry? How far they are away from their country? Which country is born in their heart? Will they pray for their own country, or Melbourne? They here, is for a destiny of life, or to just earn a better living?
My heart feel gratitude that I am still belong to a country, that I've born, I've staying, and I'm belonging. In the land of Malaysia, I shall stand on my feet to love its earth, and spare my knees to pray for a revival that gonna land on this place.
After all, am glad that I am still holding a Malaysian IC.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Eat, Pray & Love in Melbourne - Day 4
Been to Planetshaker city hall church.
Awesome experience: The drummer set right in the middle of the stage. He really beats well, and he flows flawless-ly with the tempo of the holy spirit.
The chorus of one song keep repeating in my mind, "in darkness, in trial, my soul shall sing to you"...
Impactful sermon: Evans - the Snr pastor is the speaker of the service. Very powerful sermon that she speaks / proclaim life into sickness and death. In fact, church nowadays should bring hope and god's powerful healing into the world. Let those who come experience the supernatural power of thee God, and there's the name of God be glorified.
Keep remembering one quote of her," you have been in your rubbish for too long, GET OUT"
At instance, a decision has made deep down in me. Yeap, sth has to be put down and get out from the mess. Man might dissapoint us, but God love never fail. God, I will walk away from this seconds, and welcome you to take in charge of this relationship. Whatever it goes to, I know in YOU, I am safe.
Thanks Lord, for this sweet encounter in this beautiful city that call MELBOURNE.
Awesome experience: The drummer set right in the middle of the stage. He really beats well, and he flows flawless-ly with the tempo of the holy spirit.
The chorus of one song keep repeating in my mind, "in darkness, in trial, my soul shall sing to you"...
Impactful sermon: Evans - the Snr pastor is the speaker of the service. Very powerful sermon that she speaks / proclaim life into sickness and death. In fact, church nowadays should bring hope and god's powerful healing into the world. Let those who come experience the supernatural power of thee God, and there's the name of God be glorified.
Keep remembering one quote of her," you have been in your rubbish for too long, GET OUT"
At instance, a decision has made deep down in me. Yeap, sth has to be put down and get out from the mess. Man might dissapoint us, but God love never fail. God, I will walk away from this seconds, and welcome you to take in charge of this relationship. Whatever it goes to, I know in YOU, I am safe.
Thanks Lord, for this sweet encounter in this beautiful city that call MELBOURNE.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
In HIS Plan
Lord, I'm in YOUR hand
Lord, I'm in YOUR heart
I'm in YOUR mind
I'm in YOUR plan
Never have I been forgotten
主，我在你手中
主，我在你心中
在你思念中
在你计划中
从不曾被遗忘
God knows the best time to act. When you feel that God has forgotten you in your troubles today, remember that He has a time schedulle that we would not know now. However, sooner and later, you will taste the greatfullness of God grace along the way.
Lord, I'm in YOUR heart
I'm in YOUR mind
I'm in YOUR plan
Never have I been forgotten
主，我在你手中
主，我在你心中
在你思念中
在你计划中
从不曾被遗忘
God knows the best time to act. When you feel that God has forgotten you in your troubles today, remember that He has a time schedulle that we would not know now. However, sooner and later, you will taste the greatfullness of God grace along the way.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
A Beautiful Encounter. A Divive Appointment
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbour, coworker, longlostfriend, lover, or even a complete stranger),
*but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. * And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
*Everything happens for a reason. * Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.
*Even the bad experiences can be learned from. * In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
*Make every day count. * Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
*Most importantly*!!!, *if you LOVE someone tell him/her or them for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. * And learn a lesson in life each day that you live. THAT'S THE STORY OF LIFE
*but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way. * And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.
*Everything happens for a reason. * Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.
*Even the bad experiences can be learned from. * In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
*Make every day count. * Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you. You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
*Most importantly*!!!, *if you LOVE someone tell him/her or them for you never know what tomorrow may have in store. * And learn a lesson in life each day that you live. THAT'S THE STORY OF LIFE
P/s: Sharing from andytiong.blogspot.com
Monday, September 13, 2010
A Beautiful Mess
在想
事情可否简单一些？
可以因为简单的一句 喜欢所以我愿意？
也许
是个美丽的相遇 让你我的颜色盘撞色
太突然我们不知所措 逃开你的眼神让自己喘口气
希望 让感觉过了后我们依然坚持彼此
生命在这个渡口遇见你是祂美丽的安排
过去所走过的低谷造就了今天的信心
过去的失去让我们学会所谓的珍惜和宝贝
过去的无知叫我们更加感恩生命在神的里面 可以从来一次
过去的破碎如今回头看时 原来是一条恩典之路
在想
希望我们不会是 擦肩而过
可以
让这个美丽的撞色 成为
美丽的结合吗？
事情可否简单一些？
可以因为简单的一句 喜欢所以我愿意？
也许
是个美丽的相遇 让你我的颜色盘撞色
太突然我们不知所措 逃开你的眼神让自己喘口气
希望 让感觉过了后我们依然坚持彼此
生命在这个渡口遇见你是祂美丽的安排
过去所走过的低谷造就了今天的信心
过去的失去让我们学会所谓的珍惜和宝贝
过去的无知叫我们更加感恩生命在神的里面 可以从来一次
过去的破碎如今回头看时 原来是一条恩典之路
在想
希望我们不会是 擦肩而过
可以
让这个美丽的撞色 成为
美丽的结合吗？
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
决定了
决定了 放手去
我选择 离开去
你的感觉漂浮不定
我的感觉期待靠岸
最后 我们各自转身
让那爱情的龙卷风
来得太快
去也太快
将我们吹向 属于各自的幸福
每隻蝴蝶 爲了飛 爲了翩翩起舞 先做一个茧
若你不是那片属于我的天空
让我留住我的茧
直到他的出现
爱情可以像翅膀打开
我们共舞在永恒爱里
决定了 走开去
我想 错过你
我还会 遇见爱
我选择 离开去
你的感觉漂浮不定
我的感觉期待靠岸
最后 我们各自转身
让那爱情的龙卷风
来得太快
去也太快
将我们吹向 属于各自的幸福
每隻蝴蝶 爲了飛 爲了翩翩起舞 先做一个茧
若你不是那片属于我的天空
让我留住我的茧
直到他的出现
爱情可以像翅膀打开
我们共舞在永恒爱里
决定了 走开去
我想 错过你
我还会 遇见爱
Monday, August 9, 2010
雾里看花，水中望月
最近 发生很多事
原本以为可以航行至很远的G船 现在不再翱翔只因你我的心 都已倦了
原本以为可以在敬拜里与你相遇 可是现实的拒绝 我把感觉收回来
原本以为 我的感觉也是你的感觉 是我太保护因为寻找不到你的肯定
最后 我选择 离开
雾里看花 水中望月
是我的眼泪模糊了前方的路
寻找那棵发亮的恒星
把我带回你的怀抱
原本以为可以航行至很远的G船 现在不再翱翔只因你我的心 都已倦了
原本以为可以在敬拜里与你相遇 可是现实的拒绝 我把感觉收回来
原本以为 我的感觉也是你的感觉 是我太保护因为寻找不到你的肯定
最后 我选择 离开
雾里看花 水中望月
是我的眼泪模糊了前方的路
寻找那棵发亮的恒星
把我带回你的怀抱
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A Guy Who Love In Truth
Find a guy who call you beautiful instead of hot
Who calls you back when you hang up on him
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats
Who holds your hand in front of his friends
Wait for the guy who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you
Wait for the one who turns to his friends, and says:
"that's her"
Who calls you back when you hang up on him
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats
Who holds your hand in front of his friends
Wait for the guy who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you
Wait for the one who turns to his friends, and says:
"that's her"
Friday, April 23, 2010
那段“禁声” 的日子
神为我掀开2010年的序幕，是让我经历了一个出乎意料的手术。我在1月底终于检验出我声音沙哑两个月的原因，是因为声带那里长了个息肉。当医生告诉我要动手术切除它时，从来没有住过医院更别说是动手术的我，眼泪已经来不及等医生解释多多就像一道江河般波涛汹涌的泪洒满面。那个时候的脑子里只有一个担忧，“我以后还能唱歌吗？我是不是要退出敬拜团？”
手术后的我被命令要全面“禁声”两个星期！这样是为了要给声带可以有足够的休息然后快快复原。在这段不能讲话，只能比手划脚或眼神交流的日子。神教导了我许多宝贵的真理。原本以为这个手术会使我失去很多东西（例如：工作的表现，服侍的进度，与朋友间的关系），但出于神的就是如此奇妙。我非但没有失去我所担心失去的，反而得到更多的祝福和教导。愿在这里与大家细述一二，一同见证这位真实又奇妙的主。
认识我的人都知道我是个“口水” 比较多的人。过去的我认为要炒热身边朋友的气氛就必须要多讲点话来破冰一下。甚至有时候因为过于幽默而不小心伤害了身边的人。在这段“禁声” 的日子，神教导了我口舌的圣洁。因为懒惰比手划教或写字，所以很多多余的话我都选择不说。过程里我发现并没有还像我过去所认为会有很沉重的气氛，反而更能静下心来倾听身边朋友想说的话。我想，沉默跟沉重其实是一线之差。怎么样学习沉默却不沉重也是一门非常高的学问。活在这个世代的我们当遇到不顺意想找人诉苦时，很多时候不是希望别人的喋喋不休教我们处理问题，而是希望有人可以借双耳朵和同理心来分享生命的沉重。在我不能讲话“应酬” 人的日子，我反而成为了不少人倾诉的对象。有个弟兄更好笑，他SMS我说，“淑，就是因为你不能讲话，我才告诉你我的问题” 乍听之下也许带点玩笑，不过也真提醒了我倾听的功课。
在这段日子里听到最多的赞美就是：“淑，你没有讲话的时候比较美，又温柔又淑女” 起初我都不以为意，至到有一场的崇拜里圣灵启示了我当中神要教导我的功课。还记得那天是我们的会友领袖分享证道。在台上的她口中所出的都是智慧的言语，句句都在释放神宝贵触摸人心的应许。不知为什么心里有股意念问自己，“今天如果是她不能讲话，你猜大家会是什么反应？”我想，是可惜。可惜因为不能再听到她生命的分享，可惜因为不能听到她平常常说的那些造就，劝勉，鼓励的话。反观我自己，身边的朋友似乎没有因为我不能讲话而觉得惋惜。这当中意味着的也许就是因为过去我所说的话都是没什么质量的。神的启示在那天就像两刃的剑剖开我内心丑陋的一面，叫我为过去在言语上的不圣洁来认罪。
经过了这次的经历，我学习了凡是都要交托甚至是再小的事，比如说：找医生。起初当我已经看了好多次的诊所医生但声音仍然沙哑时，我内心已经开始焦急和沮丧。在几乎要放弃的当儿，我向神做了个祷告:“主啊，求你为我预备一个对的医生。。” 很奇妙的在第二天，当与一位姐妹分享我的问题时，她就建议我去看那位去年为她动颈部肿瘤手术的耳鼻喉专科医生(同善医院，贺家駿）。当下，我知道神垂听了我的祷告。的确，医生很快就检验出我的问题并叫我立刻开刀。在医生非常专业的“刀功” 底下，我的手术非常顺利。不单只如此，神使我在这件事情上成为祝福的出口。从我动手术（2月）到今天截稿为止，我已经带了4位姐妹去贺医生那里做治疗。在她们当中甚至有在之前都不知道自己有某种问题，而且是跟了她们生活许久隐藏的毛病。终于遇到一个对的医生，“一刀” 解决身体过去被捆绑的地方。神用我成为那个为瞎子领路的，把她们带到对的人面前得医治。感谢主，借着我这个小小的手术间接的去祝福那些更需要好医生来治疗的朋友。神叫万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处。
最后，经过了这次特别的经历以后，我发现生命里结出了一些果子。原圣灵保守这些果子，让我的生命能够更成熟，更荣耀神。这段哑口无言的日子会是我一生都不会忘记的经历，老实说，我也还满想念这段日子的。
手术后的我被命令要全面“禁声”两个星期！这样是为了要给声带可以有足够的休息然后快快复原。在这段不能讲话，只能比手划脚或眼神交流的日子。神教导了我许多宝贵的真理。原本以为这个手术会使我失去很多东西（例如：工作的表现，服侍的进度，与朋友间的关系），但出于神的就是如此奇妙。我非但没有失去我所担心失去的，反而得到更多的祝福和教导。愿在这里与大家细述一二，一同见证这位真实又奇妙的主。
认识我的人都知道我是个“口水” 比较多的人。过去的我认为要炒热身边朋友的气氛就必须要多讲点话来破冰一下。甚至有时候因为过于幽默而不小心伤害了身边的人。在这段“禁声” 的日子，神教导了我口舌的圣洁。因为懒惰比手划教或写字，所以很多多余的话我都选择不说。过程里我发现并没有还像我过去所认为会有很沉重的气氛，反而更能静下心来倾听身边朋友想说的话。我想，沉默跟沉重其实是一线之差。怎么样学习沉默却不沉重也是一门非常高的学问。活在这个世代的我们当遇到不顺意想找人诉苦时，很多时候不是希望别人的喋喋不休教我们处理问题，而是希望有人可以借双耳朵和同理心来分享生命的沉重。在我不能讲话“应酬” 人的日子，我反而成为了不少人倾诉的对象。有个弟兄更好笑，他SMS我说，“淑，就是因为你不能讲话，我才告诉你我的问题” 乍听之下也许带点玩笑，不过也真提醒了我倾听的功课。
在这段日子里听到最多的赞美就是：“淑，你没有讲话的时候比较美，又温柔又淑女” 起初我都不以为意，至到有一场的崇拜里圣灵启示了我当中神要教导我的功课。还记得那天是我们的会友领袖分享证道。在台上的她口中所出的都是智慧的言语，句句都在释放神宝贵触摸人心的应许。不知为什么心里有股意念问自己，“今天如果是她不能讲话，你猜大家会是什么反应？”我想，是可惜。可惜因为不能再听到她生命的分享，可惜因为不能听到她平常常说的那些造就，劝勉，鼓励的话。反观我自己，身边的朋友似乎没有因为我不能讲话而觉得惋惜。这当中意味着的也许就是因为过去我所说的话都是没什么质量的。神的启示在那天就像两刃的剑剖开我内心丑陋的一面，叫我为过去在言语上的不圣洁来认罪。
经过了这次的经历，我学习了凡是都要交托甚至是再小的事，比如说：找医生。起初当我已经看了好多次的诊所医生但声音仍然沙哑时，我内心已经开始焦急和沮丧。在几乎要放弃的当儿，我向神做了个祷告:“主啊，求你为我预备一个对的医生。。” 很奇妙的在第二天，当与一位姐妹分享我的问题时，她就建议我去看那位去年为她动颈部肿瘤手术的耳鼻喉专科医生(同善医院，贺家駿）。当下，我知道神垂听了我的祷告。的确，医生很快就检验出我的问题并叫我立刻开刀。在医生非常专业的“刀功” 底下，我的手术非常顺利。不单只如此，神使我在这件事情上成为祝福的出口。从我动手术（2月）到今天截稿为止，我已经带了4位姐妹去贺医生那里做治疗。在她们当中甚至有在之前都不知道自己有某种问题，而且是跟了她们生活许久隐藏的毛病。终于遇到一个对的医生，“一刀” 解决身体过去被捆绑的地方。神用我成为那个为瞎子领路的，把她们带到对的人面前得医治。感谢主，借着我这个小小的手术间接的去祝福那些更需要好医生来治疗的朋友。神叫万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处。
最后，经过了这次特别的经历以后，我发现生命里结出了一些果子。原圣灵保守这些果子，让我的生命能够更成熟，更荣耀神。这段哑口无言的日子会是我一生都不会忘记的经历，老实说，我也还满想念这段日子的。
Thursday, March 25, 2010
两个人
最近有在想 也许 两个人总好过一个人
两个人撑一把伞 寒冷的雨夜阵阵暖意涌上心头
两个人看鬼戏 一个死撑不怕让另一个死命捉住衣袖喊怕
两个人看爱情戏 情到浓时还可以互望对方感谢天父有你分享这份爱
两个人看动作片 学几招以后我也可以这样保护你 （叶问 － 咏春拳？）
两个人一起看文艺片 （孔子？） 一起在戏院和周公下棋啦
两个人应该会比一个人好
一滴眼泪 两个人可以承担那个心痛
一个烦恼 两个就把它当做天塌下来的被来盖
一份套餐 两个一起分享半温饱
一窝饭香 两人一起挖那焦焦的窝粑来吃
一个浪漫的黄昏 可以两人驾着宝马在高速公路细嚼 夕阳无限好
两个人会比一个人好
两个人可以生出一些人
然后那些一些人又生出好多人
好多人加好多人
最后变成 一个家族
The Lee's family The Chia's family
听来满有气派的嘛。。
最近
真的 真的 有在想 也许
两个人会比一个人好 (Two is better than one)
两个人撑一把伞 寒冷的雨夜阵阵暖意涌上心头
两个人看鬼戏 一个死撑不怕让另一个死命捉住衣袖喊怕
两个人看爱情戏 情到浓时还可以互望对方感谢天父有你分享这份爱
两个人看动作片 学几招以后我也可以这样保护你 （叶问 － 咏春拳？）
两个人一起看文艺片 （孔子？） 一起在戏院和周公下棋啦
两个人应该会比一个人好
一滴眼泪 两个人可以承担那个心痛
一个烦恼 两个就把它当做天塌下来的被来盖
一份套餐 两个一起分享半温饱
一窝饭香 两人一起挖那焦焦的窝粑来吃
一个浪漫的黄昏 可以两人驾着宝马在高速公路细嚼 夕阳无限好
两个人会比一个人好
两个人可以生出一些人
然后那些一些人又生出好多人
好多人加好多人
最后变成 一个家族
The Lee's family The Chia's family
听来满有气派的嘛。。
最近
真的 真的 有在想 也许
两个人会比一个人好 (Two is better than one)
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
对不起，我不在
这次的新年去了一趟古晋
最开心的应该是爸爸
这好像是
一趟找回过去我们一家人所拥有过的记忆
“你小时候最喜欢吃这个炒粿了”
“你小时候有来过这里的”
“叫嬷嬷。。”
“你小时候都是这样吃的”
嬷嬷家还放着我们一家人十几年前的合照
还有爸爸年轻的照片
还有 爸爸与三姑那仅仅一张的合照
爸爸说
那张照片就是他们14岁那年开始认识然后结拜成为干哥干妹
那时爸爸说，“我的家有7个兄弟，没有女的”
姑姑说，“我的家只有5个姐妹，没有男的”
姑姑：“那你就做我的KO KO 啦”
爸爸：“好”
也就是那样
爸爸在仅仅最后几年的童年里有了个温暖的家
而我 也多了5个姑姑 和公公嬷嬷
说着说着心头开始不知所谓的酸起来
过去的过去 光阴一去不复返
我们一家人已经有8年之长时间没有在一起生活了
爸爸说着的那个你小时候已经是十几年的往事
但好像那份回忆是他这么多年来都没有忘记
把它当做宝一样的锁在心底不让岁月随着年龄把它给偷去
不禁问自己
可以还有多少年陪在他们身边
还有多少年可以像小时候一样的一家人团团圆圆
是不是成长的代价是有些人会越走越远？
回来KL的那天
眼泪好像窗外的雨滴般毫无预警的洒下
顿时才知道
这么多年在KL的日子并没有把我训练的很洒脱
那个隐形的脐带还是在那里 紧紧将我们联系着
心中那股愧疚感挥洒不去
是不是我的自私一味只想追求自己的成功 而放弃了那在世界另一端挂念着我的人
最后 含着眼泪发了个短讯给他们
“我们不在你会寂寞吗？
对不起，都不在你的身边。。。。”
最开心的应该是爸爸
这好像是
一趟找回过去我们一家人所拥有过的记忆
“你小时候最喜欢吃这个炒粿了”
“你小时候有来过这里的”
“叫嬷嬷。。”
“你小时候都是这样吃的”
嬷嬷家还放着我们一家人十几年前的合照
还有爸爸年轻的照片
还有 爸爸与三姑那仅仅一张的合照
爸爸说
那张照片就是他们14岁那年开始认识然后结拜成为干哥干妹
那时爸爸说，“我的家有7个兄弟，没有女的”
姑姑说，“我的家只有5个姐妹，没有男的”
姑姑：“那你就做我的KO KO 啦”
爸爸：“好”
也就是那样
爸爸在仅仅最后几年的童年里有了个温暖的家
而我 也多了5个姑姑 和公公嬷嬷
说着说着心头开始不知所谓的酸起来
过去的过去 光阴一去不复返
我们一家人已经有8年之长时间没有在一起生活了
爸爸说着的那个你小时候已经是十几年的往事
但好像那份回忆是他这么多年来都没有忘记
把它当做宝一样的锁在心底不让岁月随着年龄把它给偷去
不禁问自己
可以还有多少年陪在他们身边
还有多少年可以像小时候一样的一家人团团圆圆
是不是成长的代价是有些人会越走越远？
回来KL的那天
眼泪好像窗外的雨滴般毫无预警的洒下
顿时才知道
这么多年在KL的日子并没有把我训练的很洒脱
那个隐形的脐带还是在那里 紧紧将我们联系着
心中那股愧疚感挥洒不去
是不是我的自私一味只想追求自己的成功 而放弃了那在世界另一端挂念着我的人
最后 含着眼泪发了个短讯给他们
“我们不在你会寂寞吗？
对不起，都不在你的身边。。。。”
Monday, February 22, 2010
对大自然的眷念
沿着山路从诗巫架去古晋
一路风景扣人心弦
此景独在梦中有— 犀鸟之乡
爸爸望着前面的大山 吟了一句诗 ，“似山不像山，似云并非云”
每每回到西马都希望可以去郊外踏青
血液里流的都是对大自然的眷念
希望
这片土地可以永远保持下去
问问自己
长大了 是不是可以为这片
我长于斯 生于斯的土地
回报什么吗？
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